It's Beautiful Tonight
by Capheine
Summary: [Oneshot] Kagura POV I lay on the roof as the skies twinkle and clouds float by. It's magical. You'd think that I would be happy but thoughts whispered into my ear only make it harder to grasp onto what is not there.


**-It's Beautiful Tonight -  
**Written 2004 sometime.

_**Author's notes**: A Kagura POV one-shot written months ago, and tweaked. It originally was just a story rather than fanfiction, but I tweaked it. I like it. I haven't written angst in a while though…_

_**Disclaimers**: Not mine._

* * *

_"We can still be friends, can't we?" she asked._

_That was answered with a smile – unusual in itself. Not only because it wasn't his smile, but because she could feel it. It was cool and quite horrid if she dwelled upon it, but she tried not to._

_"It doesn't matter!" she said, grabbing his wrist and not wanting him to walk out that door. "It doesn't matter, and I don't care! Just tell me that we can still be together. You have to tell me." She was waiting for a promise._

* * *

It's very beautiful tonight. 

It's very beautiful tonight because we can see the stars this night, and the lights of a city beyond here create a muted glow against the background of star-studded blackness. The clouds of this blackness hold no real shape, really, but I know that if I'm lying with you, high in the rooftops, we can see fish and crocodiles and perhaps a horse-drawn carriage. I turn to you and tell you that cloud-watching by night is always better than day. You turn to me and you smile again, with a tone of solitary that seems to rival that of _la lune_, but you never question it. For asking questions and waiting for answers would only ruin the perfection that this beautiful night somehow holds. Besides, you know I'm right.

It is a very beautiful night tonight.

We cloud-watch for a while and lay in the silence that I can only feel when I'm with you. The dogs and cats

_This isn't real._

of the alleys have stopped their serenade, but the buzz of the faraway cars never really dies away. The crickets are out there somewhere, composing melodies that puzzle but please, and I can still feel that silence that I only feel with you.

It's so late that I know I should be asleep right now, my head nestled on the pillows of my bed and dreaming of calm thoughts and even calmer oceans. Dreams never make sense. But even if I were in bed, dreaming, I know that I would only dream of you, so being out here with you on this starry, starry night makes no difference to the dream or the dreamer.

I notice that sometimes you whisper to yourself, asking God to never let this night end. "It's very beautiful tonight." That is your only plea, and I know you think that I can't hear you or I don't see your hand

_But it's my imagination.  
__It's my imagination again._

reach for mine, but I do. And I'll take it, claim it, as mine, while we're watching the fish and the crocodiles of the sky. Perhaps a pea-green boat shall pass and we can wish two other lovers on their merry way.

I love spending the night with you. But it is cold tonight and I ask you if we can go back inside, to warm ourselves with tea and listen to the creaks of this peaceful house. _That is when the dream ends_. Because I remember that I am speaking to myself again and the noise of the silence that I hear jumps back and tells me that I am wrong, wrong for loving you so much and cloud-watching in the night, waiting for you to come and join me.

It's a very beautiful night, and its beauty only makes it harder to accept the fact that _you're not with me_. I have been dreaming all along, of your words, of your touch, of your love. I was wrong to love you so much. Wrong to waste so many years on caring

_You love me?  
__No no no no no no no no_

for you and wanting to hold your hand. Spend some time cloud-watching with you. But I know you love me. You have to love me. At least a little, on a night like this. Everything's too beautiful to say 'no' and you do love me. You just haven't said anything yet.

I'll go cloud-watching tomorrow night, and the night after that. I'll go cloud-watching for the rest of the nights of my life, only to trace the fish and crocodiles and watch for that horse-drawn carriage. Maybe you'll join me one day. And you can love…

* * *

_Smile like you did before, when you were happy, with the teeth and the one cute dimple on your left cheek. Because I miss you and the ache doesn't wear away even though you promised me it would._

_We used to cloud-watch together while the crickets serenaded us. Stars and beautiful nights leading to beautiful days with you and being happy. But that was before -_

_Monster. The word echoes in my mind all moments of the day, as the world turns and the clock ticks away. Monster, monster. Monster. We used to be so happy and you used to hold my hand… but that all changed the day you changed. When you began to look at me only from the corners of your eyes or through the glare across the room._

_And the ache doesn't wear away even though you promised me it would._

* * *

There will never be a night as beautiful as tonight. There will never be. 

**

* * *

**

_But as he looked back, she could already see that he wasn't going to promise her anything. He shook his head slowly and donned an expression that made his face all lines and corners. "Forget about me and the ache will go away, okay? Just forget about me."_

_He took his wrist out of her hand and walked away, walked out that door into a world where he couldn't promise that he would come back with a smile, come back with the trust that they had always_ _promised one another._

_So she closed the door and cried._

**

* * *

**

_**Author's notes:** Yes. I realize that this is an odd fic. I was just wondering how the fact that Kyou was cursed with the spirit of the vengeful cat could have had an effect on his relationship with Kagura. Maybe he felt guilty or scared... who knows?_


End file.
